Emma finally feels feminine, sexy, sensual and confident

Emma had always struggled with her body image and couldn’t shake off the insecurities she’d had about her shape since puberty. Recent fertility issues had really damaged the way she felt about herself as a woman and she found her confidence suffered too. This boudoir photoshoot was Emma’s way to reclaim her body for herself and it was amazing to see her rediscover her sensuality through seeing herself differently. She finally sees the beautiful, sexy woman her husband has always told her she is!

I’ve never had great self-esteem really, or body image for that matter. I was one of the last of my peers to ‘develop’ and have always been pretty small in the chest area. At just a 32A bust with a fairly athletic figure I’ve never felt particularly feminine or sexy, and have always been self-conscious about it. As I’ve gotten older, I do care less about what people think about me, but I’ve never quite been able to shake off those old insecurities.

I’ve suffered a flurry of miscarriages over the last few years, and it definitely affected the way I felt about myself as a woman. I felt as though my body had failed; that I’d failed as a woman somehow - I wasn’t able to do the one thing that my body is designed to do. Booking a boudoir shoot was almost me reclaiming my body for myself, to see it in a new light, and not simply see it as a failed uterus.

If you’ve been affected by Emma’s story and need to talk, Tommy’s run a Baby Loss Support Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/Tommysblsupport/

You can also visit Tommy’s website for information about additional help and support: https://www.tommys.org/our-organisation/help-and-support

I knew I wanted images that were elegant and I really didn’t want to end up looking like a Barbie doll! I googled ‘boudoir photographers Derbyshire’ and trawled through the list that popped up. As soon as I saw Foxlow’s website I knew it was the studio for me. The images were stunning, natural, and of women from all walks of life.

I read some of the blog posts of women who’d been for a shoot and they were all incredibly positive and uplifting. I love the Foxlow philosophy of not photoshopping women to within an inch of their life. As much as I sometimes moan about the lines starting to creep into my face, they’re still part of me and a sign of life lived. Which is a privilege.

It was great fun! There wasn’t much time between booking and attending (when I decide to do something, I do it!) but I was still able to fit in a bit of shopping to supplement the lingerie that I already had. I knew I wanted a lace body of some description, and possibly a body stocking, so checked out Danielle’s style guide for some inspiration.

I found a gorgeous red lace body that is now one of my favourite pieces, and an off the shoulder black lace body stocking. A couple of pairs of holdups, some bra/knicker sets that I already had, and I was good to go. I also took along one of my husband’s shirts, and an oversized cardi that I’d knitted. Some of the casual Sunday-morning style images that I’d seen on the website were some of my favourites, so I was hoping we’d be able to create something similar.

I was so apprehensive on the day of my shoot! It was an afternoon appointment so I had the morning to prep. I have naturally wavy hair and wasn’t sure what we’d do with it, so I washed it and scrunched it as normal and figured someone else would sort it out later! I’d epilated the day before, and exfoliated EVERYWHERE, so all that was left was to moisturise moisturise moisturise! When I started packing everything into my suitcase, the nerves definitely started to kick in, but I was excited too.

The lovely Charlotte did my makeup - it was the first time I’d ever had my makeup done professionally and I LOVED it. Sitting on the makeup chair with lights around me, a glass of prosecco in my hand, and some funky motown playing in the background made me feel every inch a star. Charlotte was great fun to chat to and knew exactly what to do when I said I didn’t usually wear a lot of makeup. The end result was surprising, in a good way - I honestly didn’t think I could look like that. And we left my hair down and natural - it was a bit ‘bed-heady’, but hey, this is boudoir!

The shoot itself was such a giggle! It really was the most fun afternoon. Jon and Danielle are the loveliest of people, who clearly love what they do. They were nothing but supportive and encouraging the whole time, and honestly, after a few minutes, you forget that you’re strolling around in underwear and high heels! It was like spending time with friends. They direct all the shots expertly, and show you the poses, and help you style the outfits (I fell head over heels in love with a pair of red sparkly Dorothy stilettos!).

It was effortless from start to finish, and two hours passed very quickly. I honestly didn’t want it to end! When I left the studio I felt like I’d just been skydiving. The whole thing was exhilarating in a way that I really didn’t expect. I didn’t stop smiling for days afterwards, my confidence was sky high.

Jon showed me a sneak peek at one on the back of the camera on the day of the shoot and I must admit I felt a little tearful. Then seeing the rest of the images for the first time a few days later was a rollercoaster of emotions, I was speechless. I’m usually the one behind the camera, and for the first time I was front and centre. I had to get up and walk closer to the screen - it was hard to believe that the woman in the images was me.

Ordering my photos was very easy. There are plenty of packages to choose from, for all budgets. I went for a gorgeous 10” album, and will probably order a larger print to display in the bedroom too. Whittling down the number of images was challenging, but Jon was patience incarnate.

I’m a little bit in love with my album! I’ve looked at it every day since the shoot, it gives me such a lift. I’ve shared a handful of images with friends and can’t wait to show them the actual album when we’re able to get together in person.

Since my photoshoot I feel more confident, definitely. It’s strange - I think I finally see what other people see. My husband has always said I’m beautiful and sexy almost everyday over the years, but I’ve shrugged off the compliments, because of course he’d say that. But looking at these images? I’m inclined to agree with him. Although I don’t think I can repeat what he said when he saw the images for the first time!

I’m so glad I had this experience. I had the best time, and have a beautiful album of images I’m proud of. It was the first time I’ve really felt feminine, sexy, sensual, and confident, but it definitely won’t be the last.